Addiction
by QrYx
Summary: Watson contemplates Holmes' various addictions and realizes he himself has an addiction...Pre-SLASH WARNING!!!!


Author: QrYx 

  
  
Archive: Yes, but please ask and send me a link 

  
  
Feedback: qryx_fics@yahoogroups.com 

  
  
Title: Addiction 

  
  
Rating: PG13 for talk about drug use 

  
  
Spoiler Warning: Mild spoilers for SIGN and STUD. 

  
  
Summary: Watson contemplates Holmes's addictions. 

  
  
A/N: Inspired after reading The Sign of Four as well as The Red-  
Headed League and A Study in Scarlet. It was written a while ago and  
is a small part of what I will later expand into hopefully something  
that spans almost all of the complete works. hopefully Please  
please excuse any mistakes, I'm still new to the fandom, and am  
still learning. I would greatly like some feedback to know what you  
all think of this. I also want to thank my betas, Dru, Helen and  
Persephone, for helping me with my little mistakes and nervousness  
especially. I tried to keep with Watson's tone and writing style...  
but again, as I'm new.... please forgive my mistakes… 

  
  
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From under hooded eyelids I watched you go through familiar motions.  
You know I'm watching over the top of my newspaper when you rise and  
remove the bottle from it's accustomed place at the corner of the  
mantelpiece. The syringe follows from its bed of cloth and morocco  
shell.  


  
As you delve into the few minutes of quiet rumination, staring at  
the dots and marks on your arm like you are trying to connect the  
dots of a child's puzzle, I think about addiction. The many times I  
speak up against this habit of yours while you ignore or brush aside  
my concerns time and time again. Your habit of cocaine and morphine  
ruins you body, destroying you health and polluting your cells day  
by day. It is unhealthy, and like any doctor unhealthiness is my  
enemy, just as criminals are yours. 

  
  
Who am I to speak though of unhealthy addictions? You are my cocaine  
and morphine all rolled into one. From the start since I moved in,  
the puzzle that is you has unraveled my senses and sucked me into  
its realm. And God help me, I do not want to leave its seductive  
embrace. No, I want to spend eternity in its succor, languishing the  
rest of my days contently like a nursing babe at his mother's  
breast.  
  
  


It started so innocently. So simply. When Stamford introduced us, it  
was pure curiosity. His remarks just spurred my imagination on.  
Spending days at a time bedridden while recovering first from my  
wounds and then from the enteric fever gave me ample time to culture  
a healthy imagination. Stamford and his talk about your mysterious  
ways and your queer ideas lit a spark of inquisitiveness that since  
then ignited a forest fire. 

  
  
Daily, I sit here and observe you. First, it was like a game, with  
me looking for a way to understand you better, to figure you out. I  
couldn't believe that you were that complex a man. I just knew that  
there was a simple and easy answer. All those days spent querying  
you as innocently as possible, trying to dig deeper into your psyche  
to discover what manner of man you were, making those silly lists to  
try and sort it all out in my own mind. If only I knew then half of  
what I know now. It was as if I had only gotten a whiff of opium and  
hungered to know every aspect of the drug, the shape of every puff,  
the essence and the body of it all. 

  
  
Ah, at that time I had only taken but a few baby steps into the  
twists and turns on the maze you call your mind. And I was lost.  
Lost and I did not want to be found. No, I loved wandering about in  
there. Learning to read you, your expressions, your movements. Every  
gesture, every inflection burned itself into my brain. Intrigued,  
absorbed and captivated but not only your brilliance, but also your  
peccadilloes and your flaws. 

  
  
Oh yes, you have your addictions, your craving for a good case, your  
insistence on perfection while solving the latest mystery, your  
cocaine and morphine, your music and your violin. Yes, those are  
your addictions. You, you are mine. 

  
  
  
TBC??


End file.
